Currently working on several drafts from the language ideology series for next year. In the meantime, wishing you happy holidays <3
I am ending this year on a general melancholic note, merging with the grey outside. I didn’t spend enough time with books as I’d like, juggling too many things and having close to no personal free time for most of the year.
It has been a big, significant year for me and my little family, and I am at peace for what it required of me, but the part of the me that only feels well when I have time to read and write is yearning.
This reading diary is a follow-up to the one from last year, a practice I started when I decided to get off platforms like Goodreads that felt like they were spoiling my reading experience.
The following year I plan to only read what I have at home and the occasional library borrow, unless I am captivated by a story that requires me to listen to it with urgent attention.
For each book below, I noted the title, the author, the language, whether it is a library borrow (L) or own copy (OC), the date of finishing the book, and the immediate few sentences that came to mind right after. The notes were written as they came along and remain unedited. I don’t note all the books I read with my child, just the ones we mutually picked. My biggest wish has always been to write a book for children between the ages of 8 and 10 years old, and it is always a pleasure for me to read books that fit in that range.
There is so much to learn about a person from the kinds of books they choose to spend their time with, and what they make of those shared moments. I invite you into my little world.
“Once upon a river” - Diane Setterfield (EN) (OC)
08.01.2024. I finished 2023 rereading “The Snow Child” by Eowyn Ivey. I read the last pages sometime after midnight on the 5th of January. I savoured it, as it is such a beautiful homage to the harsh Alaska winters and features descriptions of nature that make me feel as if I am standing between spruce trees close to a mountaintop. It also lives right at the border of reality and imagination, that small pocket where all legends and myths come from. It took me so long to read it as I became very ill at the end of the year again. In the last days before 2024, my high fever kept me sleeping for twenty hours a day, and I entered the next year with both an exhausted body and mind. As I emerged from my snow-covered dreams in the early morning of the 5th, thick-piled snowflakes made the tree branches in front of my window bend with their weight, and the garden radiated with whiteness that echoed my dreams. My body was still achy, and I knew I was not ready to leave that place “between worlds” that Setterfield also explores in her novel. So I went to my shelf and sank into these well-known pages again.“The kindness of enemies” - Leila Aboulela (EN) (L)
14.01.2024. Have you ever been captivated by someone’s presence? I still carry the comfortable tranquillity that Aboulela spread around her at the African Book Festival last year. In her prose, Aboulela captures an aspect of my often acute feelings of otherness like no one else I’ve read before. Rather than a feeling of displacement, it is a notion of having no unified sense of home, not even within oneself. Reading her novels, I sense that working this out only within ourselves might not be enough. Just as Natasha from the novel finds her reflection in the Eastern European-Sudanese community in Khartoum, a community that doesn’t demand her to alter her language or manners nor mould her history, I think we all might need a place where we can experience being a part of a larger whole with ease. (spoiler) At the very end of the novel, Natasha discovers faith as a vehicle for that unification. It was a perspective I never considered before, but it is the author's lived experience.“Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language” - Gretchen McCulloch (EN) (L)
26.01.2024. What a delight! I thought going back to academia would be this type of constant digging deep into every single part of the active, vibrant language, but, alas, it is not. Chapter 2 should be required reading for everyone alive. I loved the archaeological parts of exploring the history of expressions like “lol”, emojis, the means to express tone of voice like irony and all the rest. My highlight is the contextual placement of emoji as emblems or gestures, which opens within me a thirst to explore new linguistic niches. I’d read anything this author publishes. It’s so lovely to go about your day listening (it was an audiobook) to someone’s excitement behind their own linguistics research.“The lying life of adults” - Elena Ferrante (EN) (L)
06.02.2024. I (just) read these last pages on a train going from Prague to Berlin. I meant to keep Ferrante for when my Italian eventually improves, but I was too curious. I had no idea I'd pick up a "coming of age" novel, as I only grabbed what the library had and not a part of her "Neapolitan quartet/novels". I found the internal monologue of a troubled teen on the precipice of growing up authentic and, as a former troubled teen, relatable. Wonderful commentary on class. I plan to read the four books of the Neapolitan novels later this year, maybe around the time we return to Italy.
“Coraline” - Neil Gaiman (EN) (OC)
17.02.2024. Dear reader, I am elated to add this entry. Not because this is my first time reading this amazing book, but because this is the first time I read it to my (almost) 6-year-old son. We read from an old edition I have, with margins full of comments made during repeated reads and many underlined sentences. He looked forward to it every night this week, and reading further was the first thing he asked when he woke. There is nothing like sharing what you love with your child. Even more, if they like it too. We have already planned our next read, and I cannot wait.“Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come” - Jessica Pan (EN) (L)
23.02.2024. This was such a lovely listen! I am reading and listening to all things friendship and community this year, and the book's premise sounded interesting. While I am not a "shintrovert", as the author names shy introverts like her in the book, I still had a lot to learn from her year of social experimentation. My biggest takeaway is the sentence: "Nobody waves—but everybody waves back". It also reminded me that approaching strangers is a numbers game and to not take rejection so personally.“The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” - C. S. Lewis (EN) (OC)
01.03.2024. We read the first Narnia book! (I am team publication order). I have last read it in a time before I could be critical about some of its content, so I admit I chewed on and/or skipped a few sentences here and there. The (almost) 6-year-old loved it. We’ll read more.“Kannas” - Hanneriina Moisseinen (DE) (L)
12.03.2024. I wanted to hold this graphic novel since I attended the "13. Graphic Novel Day" at the International Literature Festival in Berlin. The author spoke about this particular work and her creation process. I found her and how she engages with the topic of war very intriguing. She uses real photos taken during the time and quotes from broadcasts alongside her storytelling and drawings. She wanted to "describe how war affected people's minds" and "show the people who lost the most". She also expressed that "she wanted to tell the story of the animals that were there to witness the war" without anthropomorphism. I find it delivers the immersion it promises.“Rememberings” - Sinéad O'Connor (EN) (L)
30.04.2024. This was a spiritual experience, through and through. Listening to Sinéad tell her story, hear her laugh with anticipation, and feel the colours that her voice painted - it all made me cry many times. Especially since she is now gone, and there will be no more of these tellings. Thank you for reminding me that I am a punk too, Sinéad. I hope you are resting in the cool, calm, heaven night, with nothing but fire breaking the darkness. Seen and heard.“Identitätskrise” - Alice Hasters (DE) (OC)
25.05.2024. Together with another written by a local author (Nacinta Jandi), this is the first book I’ve bought this year. My purchasing power is limited, as well as the space in our home(tiny but full of love). I could get both books from the library, as I do with almost everything I read, but I wanted to support their work with my euros. I’ve been listening to “Feuer and Brot”, Hasters’ podcast, for years and following her work in the larger media landscape. As someone who grew up and was socialised outside of the “West” and who was further raised with collectivist and socialist values, I read the book as an outsider, not the primary audience. However, as someone who has spent their whole adult life in Germany and is now (only) German by nationality, it made me reflect on my own Deutschsein, and what it means to me. I hope to write about it in the months to come."The lottery and other stories” - Shirley Jackson (EN) (L)
26.05.2024. I believe I started reading this book three books ago, if not more if we count the few I have read almost until their end. Exploring the genre of “domestic terror” and all the horror of everyday life sounded intriguing, specifically because it was written by a woman born in 1916. I am not sure why it took so long. One reason could be that I wanted to let each short story sink in, to feel the stir of it after a night of sleep or two. Other, because I had too much research work to do these months. I will read at least one of her novels later this year. I don’t feel like I am done exploring her work.“Wherever you go, there you are” - Jon Kabat-Zinn (EN) (L)
30.05.2024. Listening. Learning.
“WTF Berlin: Expatsplaining the German capital” - Jacinta Nandi (EN) (OC)
30.05.2024. Nandi’s authenticity and honesty are refreshing. I was lucky to meet her once, about two years ago. Our children played while we chatted, and she was absolutely lovely. I read her column in the (EX)Berliner each month as part of my library routine. I hope she keeps publishing and creating for a long time to come. Buying this book for a friend who is leaving Berlin as a goodbye gift(I think it’s perfect for your average Berlin-exhausted expat leaving), and it might just become a thing :)
“The graveyard book” - Neil Gaiman (EN) (L)
06.06.2024. Me and the boy got this one to read together after “Coraline” was such success - it had rightfully turned out to be too spooky. I can get over-ambitious, but only because I want to share everything that brings me joy with him. I read it for myself, and we’ll reread it once more when the time comes.
“The wizard of Oz” - L. Frank Baum (EN) (L)
10.06.2024. This one was a definite hit! I’d never read it before, so me and the boy grabbed it from the library to read together. Just three bedtime story slots were taken by this one."Mein Name ist Estela” - Alia Trabucco Zerán (DE) (L)
10.06.2024. I read it in German, translated from Spanish. I usually have a rule where I don’t read translations, but I make exceptions for the languages I don’t speak or am not fluent in. I don’t want to miss out on hearing the voices from all around the world. I couldn’t put this one down. Through the internal world of a maid employed in a rich Chilean household and the veil of the oppressive, dissociated every day that comes with the job - the book rolls out excellent class commentary. My favourite parts were the conversations between Estela and her mother about nature on the island she comes from. There is so much in those conversations, symbolic and literal. I also had a tired, overworked, working-class mother who soothed the aches and ills of her tired body before the small allowance of sleep ahead of her every night, just like Estela’s. She was much more than that tired woman in the bed, just like Estela and her mother.Neapolitan Quartet, book one: “My brilliant friend” - Elena Ferrante (EN) (OC)
17.06.2024. Our annual Italian trip is near, and I’ve returned to Ferrante. I am reading her “Neapolitan Novels” series, which my local library doesn’t have(just the 3rd! Why?!). I am trying to drown my anxiety that this year my Italian feels less fit than the year before and to distract myself from the vivid visions of myself fighting for my life linguistically, nodding while drinking coffee at the long dining table where my husband’s three aunts live together. What better to do than to immerse myself in the working-class tribulations of a neighbourhood in Naples in the 50s? Jokes aside, I absolutely loved what she wrote. What an outstanding writer. Can just 0.5% of that talent bleed through those pages into my fingers? I can’t wait for the next book to arrive.
“Robodog” - David Walliams (EN) (L)
23.06.2024. Well, this one has a substantial count of 320 pages, even though its mix of prose, comic book elements and illustrations condense the content. We went through it in a few short bedtime-reading slots. My 6yo definitely laughed a lot and enjoyed the story. Pavarotti was his favourite character(the “Mamma mia” page was read three times over to a tremendous comical effect). I spent the whole time wondering how did Walliams get so successful with these books.
Neapolitan Quartet, book two: “The story of a new name” - Elena Ferrante (EN) (OC)
25.06.2024. I am enchanted. I have too much to say.
“Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space” - Amanda Leduc (EN) (L)
28.06.2024. Leduc tells her own story of a disabled girl and her experience of the world. She opens about finding her own reflection in Disney's depictions of the well-known fairytales, dissecting their representation of disability in general. She gives us a historical breakdown of the fairytales we all know and their context, reaching all the way to the very present day. I've been waiting to read this book for a while, and I am glad I did.
“Billy and the Giant Adventure” - Jamie Oliver (EN) (L)
10.07.2024. Somewhere halfway through the second chapter, I was a bit taken aback by all the food descriptions and recipes. The extent seemed to me highly unusual for a fantasy book for a child. And lo and behold, it definitely had a reason - the book was written by Jamie Oliver 😱. It is a long book, and my son seemed to be invested in the story, so we finished it, but the writing wasn't great. Reading on this level is so gentle on my brain that when the writing is good and has a rhythm and flow, the hour that we spend reading before bed is relaxing and fun. This needed...effort. We still pick up whatever seems interesting upon a quick glance. Still, we might watch out for more random celebrity book placements in the future.“Strangers to Ourselves: Unsettled Minds and the Stories That Make Us” - Rachel Aviv (EN) (L)
11.07.2024. I feel like whatever I want to say is too vulnerable to be put on this page. I loved it. It is well-rounded, respectful, and written by someone with a lived experience of mental illness. The case studies chosen are compelling. Neither life itself nor the art of moving through it have easy answers.Neapolitan Quartet, book three: “Those who leave and those who stay” - Elena Ferrante (EN) (OC)
11.09.2024. I haven’t finished a book in two months. First, in July, we went on a three-week vacation where I couldn’t read at all. I dragged this same book through Rome’s chaos and Latina’s beaches, but it remained mostly unopened. Then, very likely on the way back, I got some virus that still clings viscously to my lungs. I have been sick for four weeks, in a succession of rising and waning severity, while stubbornly refusing to take days off and preparing a child for their first week of school. Currently ongoing. Yesterday, I finally gave in to my doctor’s insistence to take days off. Today, between the morning and afternoon school runs, I slept and read the last 100 pages. Do I have something to tell you about the book? I am just glad that the journey isn’t over.Neapolitan Quartet, book four: “The Story of the Lost Child” - Elena Ferrante (EN) (OC)
15.09.2024. I am not sure how many days later I am writing this entry. I tried to guess how long it took to finish that last book of the series. Three or four days, including one stubborn late night of at least 5 hours :). I loved the series. So much to reflect on. The first two books, specifically the second one, helped me make a big life decision. With Lucille Clifton’s collection staying forever by my bedside when I need perspective/meditation and novels like the one I just read - who says self-help books hold the monopoly on life advice?
“Exit Interview: The Life and Death of My Ambitious Career” - Kristi Coulter (EN) (L)
13.12.2024. I haven’t been really reading for months. One can easily judge how I’m doing by how much I read -the months when I read 8-10 books and the months when I read none both signify something, albeit different. It is only fitting that this is the first book I finish from the ones I grabbed and let slip.
I believe my first programming job was about 15 years ago, while I was still finishing my first CS degree. I’ve been around long enough to know that the absurdities that Coulter talks about are all true and that they are absolutely not a complete overview. I’ve never had a big corporate job; it must be all amplified there, although startups are a tribulation of their own. The story of someone who made it out is bittersweet, although with the kind of wealth that you can’t build from a job in Europe. Good for you, Kristi <3
I’ll let this year end just like the last one by reading the same book for the third time. A meditation on cycles, but also on permanent change. I am never the same person reading this book. The words on the page never change, but they always tell a different story.“Ambition Monster: A Memoir” - Jennifer Romolini (EN) (L)
17.12.2024. The intended program was interrupted because I needed to hear Jennifer Romolini out. I accidentally heard a podcast with her a few days ago, pressed hold on the audiobook in the library app, and was lucky to have it available almost immediately. I’m finishing it in my bedroom, with only the twinkly lights I recently put in the window breaking the full dark. I’m keeping myself awake for the time I need to take my antibiotics. The closing credits of the audiobook play as I write this. I consider meeting Romolini after my declaration of the in-between a sign(I don’t care if it sounds woo-woo; I decide what to make of this encounter 💅). I share so much of my internal world with her, as well as our origins and childhood stories.Below, the last words in the book.
”A few days after the funeral, I am back in Los Angeles. I walk out of therapy and walk up to an exact replica of my first car. An 88 Nissan Sentra I bought with every last cent of my waitressing tips for 1400$, negotiated down by my dad from 2000$. I wanted this car so bad, but he’d prepared me - for any negotiation to go well, you have to be prepared to walk away. I kept my poker face that day, and got to drive my new car off the lot. For the next almost 10 years I kept driving it away from everything I knew: home, college, a bad first marriage, friends who were somehow no longer friends. Trying to land somewhere that felt right, always negotiating, always ready to walk away. It took me years to discover there is no dream job to chase, no have-it-all fairytale, no happy ending in which to escape. The story is never so pretty, or so neat. The best is often what is right in front of you.
The hardest, most ambitious goal is to stop running from yourself.”
Ain’t that the truth, Miss Romolini.
“The show child” - Eowyn Ivey (EN) (OC)
12 days left before the new year. In Alaska, snow is falling. A man and a woman make a little girl out of snow.
Wonderful read, so many books to add to my own list for next year <3
Love how this mixes nostalgic stories with thoughtful (and new to me!) titles. Like you, I’ve been struggling to find enough personal time for reading and would love to get back into it. I’ll try to start the new year with a few of your picks and keep track of my notes!